Posted 29 August 2009 - 06:27 PM
Jim wrote this on another forum and i think it deserves a place here as well.
So you want to be an apprentice Tattooist?
Ok, you have decided you want to secure a Tattooing Apprenticeship, what should you know, and why will this advice make any difference to you in your search?
Well, the first thing you have to know is that there is no such thing as a “Tattoo Apprenticeship”. After 4 years in a professional studio environment, you won’t get a laminated certificate from the nice people at the City and Guilds Charter Office. You won’t be able to hang a sign outside saying “Tattoos by Joe Bloggs (T.A). It’s not like a plumbing apprenticeship where you have the proof of tests passed and certificates awarded. In fact, the most accurate description, in my opinion, would be that you would get a “Shown How to Do Tattoo Stuff” course that lasted between 3 and 5 years. If you really were interested in TATTOOING and not the fabled rock-star lifestyle that those of us who have studios of our own enjoy. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about, we turn up at the local nightclub in a limo all the time with totty literally hanging off us, covered in bling and giving the world the one-finger salute and getting in everywhere before the rest of the people queuing because we know all the bouncers. All the free equipment we have lavished upon us by adoring supply-companies is handy too, not to mention the fact that everyone in local authority bends over backwards to make sure we are able to run our business smoothly. Yes Sirree, life sure is sweet when you’re a successful Tattoo Arteest, toolin’ around town in your fancy wheels and being the envy of all you come into contact with.
If you think that’s the sort of lives we live, then it’s not a Tattoo Apprenticeship you should be looking for, it’s a stint with the rest of the fucking clowns at Billy Smarts Circus.
Look, not to sound condescending, but here’s the rub.
When Artists see all you people posting the same pathetic words time after time, despite the fact that approximately a gazillion-thousand others have posted almost exactly the same damn thing in numerous forums then you MUST understand why you get met with derision.
If you don’t, then you’re a moron.
If you’re a moron, or maybe just to pre-empt any moronic posts, put quite simply, we wouldn’t take on anyone stupid enough to persist in this fashion. No-one, or maybe one or two VERY unusual cases, has yet got a favourable response from these types of post, at least not after the first few, and not just on this forum. Take what you will from that, but using it as an opinion poll; I’d say that it was 100% likely to fail. Imagine taking on an apprentice who had to be told the same things over and over and over again, without them actually absorbing any of the info. It would be like Groundhog Day but bloodier in the long run.
Okay, what else? Oh yeah, starter kits. When we all tell you they aren’t worth the money, it’s not because we’re trembling in our boots with fear that you’ll buy one and immediately astound the Tattoo world with your brilliance, Thus putting all us old windbags in the shade. No. It’s because a very large percentage of us are of a certain generation. We’re the original Generation-X, we’re the punks and rockers of the late 70’s and 80’s, WE’RE the original “people to avoid”, the “bad crowd”, we’re the negative influence on all the little swots and mummy’s boys of the 80’s, the people who scorned yuppies and lived on the road at festivals and conventions, we’re the Ink-Gypsies of the 20th Century’s last quarter. We’re also the stupid cunts who bought a starter-kit way back in the day, and that’s why we always tell you they’re no good. Because we KNOW. No other reason, ok? Don’t go cluttering up your mind with negative conspiracy theories regarding the evil brother-and-sisterhood of Tattooing trying to close the business to everyone. We’re not, there is no conspiracy, I have said it once already and I say it again, YOU DO NOT CHOOSE TATTOOING, TATTOOING CHOOSES YOU.
So, how do you get in the line-up to be chosen?
Well, in broadly general terms, a lot of people get involved because they already have a strong interest in the Art itself, and usually have at least a few Tattoos. (Please note: DO NOT mistake the phrase “strong interest” for the phrase “Tattoos are cool”). Someone with a strong interest will be able to hold a conversation on their likes and dislikes regarding their body-art without having to resort to the “its cool/wicked/boss/rad, I loves them” mantra. Anyway, as I’m sure you will find if you research thoroughly, a LOT of people get involved through building a relationship with their Artist. Sometime, clients become lifelong friends, and in that manner have been introduced to Tattooing. Others have expressed an interest to their Artist and been given a chance to learn. It’s all down to how the dice rolls. If you find a Tattooist and Studio you like, maybe you will, in time, be offered a job answering the ‘phone, or mopping the floors or whatever and work your way up from there, that part is entirely dependant on luck, serendipity, sub-conscious synergy, or maybe he just fired the last bitch/prick he had being rude to his clients at the desk, who knows? However you happen to get involved will depend on fate, persistence of pursuing your goal, or sheer blind luck.
There is no such thing as a “TATTOO SCHOOL”. There are many pretenders, with fancy set-ups and yards of synthetic skin or winos for you to chop up and infect, there are places that will give you a certificate and there are even one or two who coyly hint that they have the approval of their government to teach you Tattooing. Crap. Complete bullshit. While I’m not saying that an apprenticeship is the only way anyone will ever learn, I do maintain that it is the only GOOD way. The only thing you get from courses/schools/academies (academy, lol, don’t make me fucking puke) will be a far lighter wallet, and a load of duff equipment they couldn’t sell to a professional in a million years, and enough bad info to fill a double-decker bus. So DON’T be fooled into thinking a “Tattoo starter-kit” will get you on the road, it won’t, but it will keep your “supplier” on the road….. in his fancy car.
Above all else, before you even consider going into Tattooing as an apprentice, ask yourself this: What do I have to offer this Artist? What skills can I bring to the studio? What experience do I have?
If you think you are going to waltz out of school or college and into a studio, then you need to think again. Tattooing is a wonderful, expressive, rewarding career to be involved in.
Tattooing can also boot you in the balls with brute force when you least expect it, then stamp on your head when you’re down. Sometimes you get stamped on for months, sometimes you sail serenely on making a decent wage and paying the bills. Based on the apparent average age of people asking for apprenticeships: you can relate to this how? You haven’t had a job. Most likely you haven’t travelled. You’ve never had the responsibility of having to pay your way. Bills don’t get paid by magic, you know. If you have no experience of earning on a regular basis, how will you cope with no money at all for days, weeks, months? Could you even handle that? There’s not a professional Tattoo Artist in this forum who won’t tell you they’ve had hard times. When we talk about our eating choice being Ramen Noodles or Surf and Turf, do you guys even know what the fuck we’re ACTUALLY saying? It’s not a restricted menu in a minimalist restaurant; it’s what we say when we’ve had good or bad days, weeks or months. I once had a bad run that lasted 2 YEARS!! Bills got paid but I got no wages, so no wages no treats like fags, magazines, new clothes etc. Am I maybe rubbing the gold-plating a bit hard here? The glitter of Tattooing getting a little duller yet for you? You think I’m trying to paint a bleak picture here? I can assure you I am not. The harsh reality is that you really need to have some savings behind you to make a go of any offer you get, so while you’re researching and studying and visiting Tattooists and their studios trying to find a way through the maze and into Tattooing, you should be putting an equal amount of effort into finding a job. If not a job, then more education, anything but a CV that says “Been on dole 3 years, can draw a bit, partly house-trained.”
It’s just not fucking good enough. You’re going to have the brass neck to ask someone who doesn’t know you to risk all they have worked for to give you a chance. I mean, a million good Tattoos will get you a good reputation, but one Fuck-up by your apprentice will ruin your whole fucking business. And then…. what? Are you going to be able to pay your mentors mortgage? Electricity, gas, water, rates? For the studio AND his/her house? No? Didn’t think so. Most likely response would be “Shouldn’t have taken me on”. That’s why it’s so difficult to trust anyone with that chance, its not just time invested, equipment used and all the rest of the energy that would be required. It’s the chance you’re taking on someone who has the power to ruin your entire life.
By now I sincerely hope you’re beginning to get the picture.
Next time you get flamed over a post, remember the people you’re about to gob-off at are the very people who are all connected, industry-wide, some of us Internationally and as you see from this forum, we all network. If you’re an arsehole to a Tattooist in Cornwall, bet your bottom dollar that we’ll hear all about you in Scotland, or Manchester or wherever. Never shit in your own nest, that’s my advice. Better you don’t put your foot in your mouth, it’ll save you meeting up with the target of your abuse at a convention and getting a foot in the arse.
Anyway, it’s not all doom and gloom. Now and again, a vacancy opens that’s just right for you, you get your dream chance; you’re stoked, over the moon, jumping for joy.
Wait a minute! I’ve brought all me pencils in me furry case and a big new flash-pad (you used to buy drawing pads, but now you have a job in a studio, surely they’re flash pads? Sorry, sadly this is not the case. Flash-pads will remove a lot of stubborn stains, but drawing pads are fine for drawing flash,) so why the hell should I be cleaning the toilet? I haven’t even peed in it yet, let alone bombed China, and it stinks! Well, that’s the thing. It’s not just the toilet, or washing the floors, or re-grouting the tiles, or painting the walls/doors/ceiling. It’s not just sorting 8323 sheets of flash into an Alphabetical system or de-needling a weeks worth of needle-bars or cleaning out the ultrasound cleaners every day or remembering to double-bag every bin in the building. It’s not just dusting the corners and wiping the chair and work-surfaces every time some other lucky bastard has had Ink done. It’s not about making sure the staff room (yes, I have one of those in my studio, and a full-size shower-room too!), is hoover-ed or that the pavement outside the studio is swept and sluiced down with detergent and bleach every day before you open the doors and the doors themselves are washed and the signs beside the doors. It’s not about WHAT the job is, it’s the fact that it NEEDS doing! It needs doing to ensure the Artist has time to teach you, instead of him or her having to do all those jobs AND show you how to reduce their income. Any clearer yet?
Is it sinking in that we are not faceless automatons just waiting to programme you with pixie-dust Tattooing-ability? Take this pill after supper and you’ll Tattoo like a Master in the morning, honest? See? Not as simple as you thought eh?
Then there’s the needle-making. Yes I use pre-mades, but if you have no idea of how to make your own then how will you ever understand HOW they make that line? WHY it’s best to lay needles THIS way and not THAT? WHAT needles to use? WHERE to solder them to? WHY that amount of solder? Why that TYPE of solder? How do you neutralise the solder to prevent blacking? Do you even know what I’m on about? No? See…that’s the thing. There are 1000’s of things to learn when you Tattoo, and each of those things, or tasks, has maybe 3 or 4 or maybe even DOZENS of sub-tasks you need to learn to do it right. Then there’s sterilisation, cross-contamination control, storage of equipment, cleaning of equipment, machine maintenance, outline theory, shade theory, round, oval flat or magnums? Stacked? 3,5,7,9, or higher on those liners? How come there are no even numbered liners? Well there are actually, there’s a box-4 liner for instance, and some bigger rounds like 18’s for extreme power-lining, but the point is that there are dozens of configurations of needle set-up, and it takes years to discover what works best for you.
Should you get a place in a studio, you won’t be made privy to where all the equipment is bought from. Nor will you have any right to be. Your mentor will advise when it is time to buy anything he or she may feel you are ready to add to your toolkit. That’s why professionals always advise you to wait. It’s a big commitment. I reckon you’d need to invest a minimum of £12,000 to have all you would need to operate from a premises whether it be your own or someone else’s, so it’s a huge investment for a young person with no idea of how harsh being self-employed can be. Let alone being self-employed in a “niche” Craft.
Don’t get me wrong here. Those of you who read this and say “Fuck You”, you’re Moronic, and won’t be responded to. Those of you who say “Fuck THAT for a game of soldiers” will probably shrug, realise I’m right and it was the glamour of a renegade lifestyle they were attracted to, change your name to Fred and go set up a band with some mates.
Then there are those of you who will say “Fuck it, I can do all that AND work in a pub/chippy/petrol station at night to make money while I learn”. Those are the people who will make it, with various degrees of success. You must be willing to DEVOTE yourself to learning how to Tattoo as well as you possibly can. Being “into” it isn’t enough. Can you leave your Saturday night piss-ups behind to learn about Jerry Collins one night over a few quiet beers or a smoke? Will you be able to watch your mates pile into a taxi to go into town and get shit-faced while you get shown how to re-tip a tube or learn how to operate the new vacuum autoclave your mentor has just invested almost £3,000 in? Will you be able to spend time online looking-up the Tattoo Archives instead of ogling photo-shopped pics of Britney and various members of the canine world?
Why should you care who Greg Irons was? Do you give a shit about Bill Jones? You really should. Do you know who Prince Vallar was? Why not? He was the foremost exponent of fine-line Tattooing in the UK in his time. What group did Nick Picarro play in? Is the Paul Rogers business card in my collection genuine? (Of course, mine is, but how would you ever know if you don’t know what significance he had to people like me?). What possesses Tattooists to want to own EVERY book on the subject? Can I possibly ever use my entire machine collection? (Doubtful, but I’m gonna use every one of them on at least ONE piece ). What’s the difference between a grommet and a nipple?
What would you store on a spring shelf? Do pigments really have pig in them? Should ALL Tattoo Studios require a certificate of competence in cross-contamination control and a PVTC for their autoclave or is it just dumb schmucks like us professional devotees who should need to bother shelling out on that? What’s the connection between the UK and the worlds first Tattoo Convention held in the USA? Some sources claim Tattooing to be as old as the Phoenicians, what proof is there of that? Why did a mummified body in the Tyrolean Alps have “Christian” Cross Tattoos Inked into its flesh when the mummy has been carbon-dated to pre-date the time of Christ.
What did Dostoevsky think of Tattoos? How did he get so much exposure to them? Does ink go “off”? There are 1,000’s of facts, trivia, myths, legends, rumours, (some about me! Lol) and really you need to absorb as much of the arcane side of Tattooing as you do of the technicalities. There’s not an “old-time” Tattooist who couldn’t boldly put raconteur, philosopher, seeker of truth, psychiatrist, judge, counsellor, negotiator, or a hundred other lost, dying or forgotten skills you need in this business in BIG letters on their calling-card. Tattooing can elevate you to a high level of understanding in many fields, but most of my colleagues will tell you that those rewards don’t come without sacrifice.
www.identitytattoos.co.uk
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= im amassing my portfolio to hit the pavement as we speak so fingers crossed il show enough dedication and skill to find a nice place to make tea and learn closer to home. xx
